Healing in His Hands

Summer 2008_1 Does God still heal today? “Am I tilting at windmills? Grabbing at straws?” Many of us suffer unaccountably, maintain the faith, yet still feel experience the feelings that God is not listening to our cry. Is this an oxymoron, a conundrum? Together, let us sharpen our faith and encourage each other as we seek to help at least one of our sisters in her cry for understanding, peace, and healing.

I recently received an e-mail from a friend asking for encouragement in the faith–for healing. To make certain that I set the record straight before we get started with this discussion, let me begin with my most recent response to her askance for reassurance that God is still at work healing people miraculously. Following is my most recent e-mail response:

I believe—undeniably, irrevocably, totally and completely—that God’s healing continues today just as it did when the woman touched the hem of Jesus robe, when the handkerchief from Paul’s body was touched, when the shadow of Peter fell on people. The gift of healing, like all other gifts, is not revocable; it is here to stay until Christ comes again. What we cannot dictate, never could, is when, how, and why God allows His Holy Spirit to flow into some with healing and not others; why some seem to get partial healing while others complete healing; why some only get grace and peace! We do not “know the mind of God.” Thank goodness—or we would be God—and I can’t handle that responsibility. Can you?”

To give you a little more history behind this question, I am inserting carefully edited portions of my friend’s e-mail and my e-mail responses. My desire is to honor the anonymity of my friend yet allow her voice to be heard by those who have similar experiences with both the question itself– “Is God still healing miraculously today?” and with answering this vital question.

1st e-mail to me (edited): “You have prayed for me, anointed me and generally supported me.  Not too many people I know REALLY believe in healing. Some will pray and say they believe, but most of my praying friends (I think) don’t believe. Maybe that’s my bias.

“[Date given] I encountered two women who were previously and since unknown to me or [to] each other.  One older woman stopped me in Wal Mart to chat and [she] prayed for my healing. Minutes later another woman stopped me and offered a mobility scooter.  It had belonged to her mother who died.  I thanked her and took her number.

“While driving home I struggled with this seeming mixed message. Once back at home I lay down and just prayed/groaned/asked.  I felt a voice say that I would be walking without assistance before my birthday. Well, that was three years and three birthdays ago. I shared this experience with some friends, including my husband. The response was fairly consistent: hesitation then “Oh, that sounds good, we’ll see what happens.” I am not only [not] walking at all now, but am full time in a wheelchair. Can’t even transfer on my own.

“I have searched the Scripture and my head and heart until I feel deaf and dumb.  I have asked, knocked, and sought until I am hoarse, blind, and have bloodied knuckles! Since what I think I heard was obviously not God, I am very hesitant to trust anything else I may “hear.”

“With  six children that God undoubtedly gave me, there is still so much work for me to do. My own grandkids aren’t even here yet!  I really feel like my gifts are wasting away. A home school mom who can’t drive is REALLY challenged to home school. [My husband] does what he can, but he is working 60+ hours a week, PLUS [doing] the dad/husband thing.

“All of this is so sad and depressing. I only see friends who can come over to visit.  God gave me an independent spirit and a mind and body that [at one time] had been able to do just about anything that He put in front of me…

“Now, I’m down to not even doing the very basics. [My husband] has been more than terrific with all that is involved in my being non- ambulatory. Many a lesser man would have left long ago.

“Am I asking too much? Am I missing something? Yes, the need to look at the positive and what I CAN do has been pointed out more than once. Those are far outweighed by what I can’t do and what it costs for me to be maintained. How can it be right for us to spend $200-300 a month on just me, when we have so many other needs?

“Several years ago it became clear to me and my doctor, that pharmaceutical and  conventional medicine was not working for me.  I firmly believe that only God can heal me.  It is such a simple thing, nothing for Him. And I know that He called us to home school  these kids. He also gave me gifts of serving, hospitality and administration.   [Yet,] here I sit.

” Thank you for this opportunity to be heard.  When your [son]told me about you being healed from your chronic pain, I knew I needed to talk to you.  Am I tilting at windmills? Grabbing at straws?”

The following blog will be my response. In this way, you, the reader, can respond to my friend’s questions or to my responses separately. May the Lord bless your day.

1 thought on “Healing in His Hands

  1. Drucella Post author

    When I think of you, as I often do, I see that beautiful young Mom challenging me about the very idea of my own homeschooling, seeking answers, and eventually, taking on the challenge herself. I’ve always admired that indomitable spirit of yours–and still do. I want to thank you for trusting me to write with your deepest feelings, fears, and frustrations.

    First, let me say that I do understand much of what you have to say. No, I don’t totally understand the deepest frustrations you must go through with having such a lively mind and enthusiastic spirit, so many gifts to offer, and the vehicle for delivery in total disrepair. I’ve lived through severe pain and constant broken bones for thirteen years with no promises from the doctors to get well–only worse. But I did maintain mobility, painful but there nonetheless. Let me tell you something about it.

    Back in ’97 before the doctors diagnosed me, I stayed in debilitating pain. The doctors were frustrated because they couldn’t diagnose me, and I was hurting, frustrated, tired, and losing faith. People constantly lay hands on me telling me to rise up and be healed–and I didn’t. I would pray for other people’s healing, even over the phone, and they would “rise up and be healed.” Yet, God stayed His Hand from me.

    One day, I was driving home from school and crying as I did so. As I cried, I railed at God, “If you aren’t going to heal me, why don’t you at least tell the doctors what is wrong with me. Maybe they can do something. (I was so dumb!) At least let me know what is wrong. How can You let me pray for others and they get well, and I still suffer? Why, Lord? Hear me, Please.”

    No sooner had I spoken that last word then my car filled up with a brilliant white light. I was so overcome that I had to pull off the highway into someone’s driveway. I fell over on the steering wheel. God spoke to me (yes, I felt as though I could audibly hear Him.) “It doesn’t matter what is wrong with you. It doesn’t matter if the doctor’s never diagnose you. It doesn’t matter if your body never heals on this earth. What does matter is that you know, that you trust Me in this: I will carry you through this every step of the way. I will carry you all the way to the other side. That is all that matters.”

    I felt such a sense of peace, such comfort in His Words that I immediately stopped worrying about getting healed. I knew then that even if He took my body’s capabilities completely away, even if I remained in this excruciating pain the rest of my life, it would not matter. My God would carry me through. I cannot even begin to tell you the peace this gave me, the burden it lifted from me. God made me. He knew me. He could do with me as He pleased. I was content. After that, even when people asked to pray for me, my answer was “Okay, if you want, but it doesn’t matter. God is carrying me.” I never expected to receive any healing in this lifetime. And the pain only began increasing, my abilities decreasing rapidly.

    Then, miraculously, on the day after Valentine’s Day, this year (2009), I heard the Lord call me for healing. My daughter-in-law and I were at a little bi-lingual church here in Lakeland, FL. We were just praising God in song, all the church together; the communion we shared in worship was truly beautiful. All of a sudden, I heard what I thought was the preacher’s voice saying, “Ankle, knee, bones.” Three times I heard this. I felt as though I was being called to the front for healing. It seemed as though I took only one step forward, and all of a sudden, I was transported to the front. Yes, the pastor prayed for me. He didn’t even know what was wrong with me, what he was praying for other than for my ankle and knee. Yet, he prayed. When he told me to stand up and do something I never could do before, I just started laughing. I was trying to tell him that I was doing something new; I was standing without pain for the first time in 13 years. Instead of voicing this thought, I fell to the floor, a result of the awesome power of God. When I rose again, all I wanted to do was dance.

    When Pastor Abner Alicia began praying, I felt a flame of fire begin in my ankles and literally travel through my body, following my skeletal framework, burning each bone as though the bones were being consumed with flame. I could feel the flames in such a real way that I thought, Surely, everyone can see the flames leaping out of my body. The flame was weakest along my spinal column. Afterward, the Lord told me that He had healed my bones except for my spine, but He had not healed my muscles or delivered me from Lupus.

    While it is true that my bones no longer are in pain as they once were, the fact is that I still suffer greatly from lupus and muscular degeneration. The fact still is (also) that God’s Hand is still upon me, and I feel His peace and grace each and every day of my life.

    I did not receive this modicum of relief, Celeste, because I am someone special or because I did something special. I didn’t receive His touch because the right person prayed for me or because I’ve been extra fantastic. The truth is that I do not know why He decided on that day to touch me. I only know that through all the 13 years prior and through the months since (still with Lupus—my body still declining and in pain though not the constantly severe pain), I’ve learned many valuable life lessons: I’ve learned to be content in “whatsoever state I am in”; I’ve learned that from God’s Hand we receive Grace and Mercy, and that is enough; I’ve learned that my voice, whether audible or in print, is enough to do God’s work. God never promised me healing on this earth. He promised His Grace. That is what He has given me, and that is sufficient.

    I don’t know what God has promised you as far as healing goes. I believe in His miraculous healing and believe that He can heal you here on this earth if He so chooses. I will stand with you and pray with you for that healing here on earth because I know that God can do it. I also know that, if not before, He will heal you completely on the Judgment Day. Until then, His Grace truly is sufficient.

    I know you are right; He has called you to home-school, and He has given you these beautiful children to be nurtured, admonished, taught by you and [your husband]. You can teach sitting on a milk crate under an apple tree. You can teach from the hillside as Jesus did. You can teach from your bedside if necessary. You don’t need hands and feet. You’ve got at least 4 sets (left at home) ready, willing, and able—and eagerly anticipating to do your bidding. You are the voice of wisdom, knowledge, and faith. Their lives might be different; it might not be “fair” if we measure quality in today’s standards (which I think are rotten). But your children will learn so much more about life, godliness, and the fruits of the spirit than their peers will ever learn. Your children will be like the violin strings tempered by fire so that their melodies are so pure and glorious. Allow them this.

    And while you wait upon the Lord, (and do not stop eagerly anticipating His healing touch), use the abilities you do have to communicate the best that God has given you. God did give you these children, and God has given you the mind to instruct them both in knowledge and practical sense, in wisdom and in righteousness. So, do it—whether lying down, sitting up, or flying on the wings of the morning—teach them. Don’t worry about the trivial. Don’t worry about tomorrow, for sufficient unto today are the troubles thereof. Just take care of today.

    I know that this is a long letter and you will probably get tired of reading it. But I have strived to let the Holy Spirit lead the writing so that you would have what He wanted you to have, not some pabulum that I would try to feed you. I love you, [my sister]. I think you are a beautiful, strong, and capable woman. I thought that 25 years ago, and I still think that today. Rest in Christ, and let Him be the author and finisher of your faith.

    In Him,

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